You Don’t Have To Abandon Yourself To Be In A Relationship

In-person 6-week group in Lisbon, Portugal.

I’d like to invite you to my group running in April called Stop Abandoning Yourself in Relationship.

What do I mean by that?

I mean the ways we put ourselves to one side and move away from ourselves when we’re in relationship — any type of relationship. It’s often most highlighted in romantic relationships because they’re more intense and we feel we have more to lose.

Ways we abandon ourselves can include putting our own needs second and focusing entirely on the other person. It can look like playing into a role — the provider, the strong one — while ignoring the parts of us that want to be vulnerable or want support.

Not asking for support is one way.

Withdrawing from intimacy because it feels too much or too vulnerable is another. In doing that, we hurt ourselves, because it’s not actually what we truly want.

It can also show up as going into shame very quickly. Social Anxiety. Becoming highly self-conscious in relationship to the other person. Questioning everything:

Did I say the right thing?
Did it land right?
What should I do next?

And in that constant self-questioning, we shame ourselves and abandon ourselves.

All of these patterns are attachment wounds developed in our primary relationships growing up. They were survival mechanisms. Intelligent, creative ways to cope. They are not bad or wrong. In Gestalt Therapy we call them “creative adjustments”.

But they no longer serve us if what we want is a nourishing relationship that feels mutual, collaborative, equal — horizontal.

How the Group Works

The group runs for six weeks, 90 minutes once a week in Alfragide, Lisbon.

We will actually be in relationship with each other.

I will be facilitating. I’m a trained Gestalt group facilitator. I’ve worked at the Gestalt Centre and facilitated groups of over 100 people, as well as smaller groups of 16, 12, and many others over the years.

This is an experiential group.

You will have the opportunity to relate differently. To practise. To potentially receive feedback. While there won’t be a rigid structure of feedback, you will likely gain a sense — or direct impressions — of how you land with others.

That awareness can be powerful. It helps us see how we come into contact and how we withdraw.

What You’ll Practise

You’ll practise:

• Asking for support

• Doing conflict differently

• Being vulnerable differently

• Or being vulnerable for the first time

• Learning to state your needs and wants more directly

It’s an opportunity to learn how you come into contact with others — and to change it.

If you’re interested, please apply.
I would love to have you there.

I adore working with groups, and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Practical Info

Start Date: 10th April 2026
Time: 7.30 pm London/Lisbon timezone for 90 minutes
Duration: 6 weeks
Price: Early bird price (before 10th March) is £420. After that it is £480.