You Don’t Have To Abandon Yourself To Belong

Hosted by psychotherapist and EMDR practitioner Alexandra Stevens, this podcast explores the patterns that keep high-functioning people stuck in cycles of self-abandonment, over-accommodation, struggle, disconnection, and relational pain.

Through solo episodes and conversations with leading voices in trauma, attachment, neuroscience, creativity, and healing, the podcast examines what it really means to belong without betraying yourself.

Episode 1 – Steven D'Souza

In the first episode of You Don't Have To Abandon Yourself To Belong, Alexandra Stevens speaks with leadership expert and author Steven D'Souza about uncertainty, shadow work, curiosity and the hidden opportunities that emerge when we stop trying to control the unknown. Together they explore how psychological flexibility, self-awareness and the capacity to stay with uncertainty can become powerful catalysts for growth, creativity and transformation.

Episode 2 – Dr Devon Price

In episode two, Alexandra Stevens is joined by social psychologist and author Dr Devon Price for a conversation about systemic shame, belonging and the origins of self-abandonment. Together they explore the difference between personal and systemic shame, why so many of us grow up believing there is something wrong with us when our needs have simply gone unmet, and how recognising the impact of family, culture and society can help us reclaim self-worth, authenticity and a deeper sense of belonging.

Episode 3 - Sarah Peyton

In episode three, Alexandra Stevens is joined by neuroscience educator, author and psychotherapist Sarah Peyton for a conversation about shame, self-compassion and the lasting impact of relational trauma. Together they explore how verbal and emotional abuse become embedded in the nervous system, why so many of us internalise the belief that we are "not enough", and how cultivating a kinder relationship with ourselves can begin to heal deeply rooted patterns of shame and restore a greater sense of belonging.

Episode 4 - Mark Brayne

In episode four, Alexandra Stevens is joined by attachment-informed EMDR therapist, trainer and former BBC foreign correspondent Mark Brayne for a conversation about belonging, shame and the family patterns that shape who we become. Together they explore why so many of us learn to abandon ourselves in order to preserve connection, how survival strategies can be passed from one generation to the next, and why healing isn't about blaming our parents but understanding the stories that shaped them. They also discuss identity, intergenerational trauma and how changing the way we relate to ourselves can change what we pass on to future generations.