You Don’t Have To Abandon Yourself To Belong
Hosted by psychotherapist and EMDR practitioner Alexandra Stevens, this podcast explores the patterns that keep high-functioning people stuck in cycles of self-abandonment, over-accommodation, struggle, disconnection, and relational pain.
Through solo episodes and conversations with leading voices in trauma, attachment, neuroscience, creativity, and healing, the podcast examines what it really means to belong without betraying yourself.
Episode One
Leading Through Uncertainty & The Unknown
A conversation with Steven D’Souza
In the first episode of You Don’t Have To Abandon Yourself To Belong, Alexandra Stevens speaks with leadership expert and author Steven D’Souza about uncertainty, curiosity, shadow work, and what it means to navigate the unknown without collapsing into control, avoidance, or fear.
Drawing on Steven’s work Leading from the Dark, the conversation explores the concept of “negative capability” — the capacity to remain with uncertainty, mystery, and not-knowing without rushing prematurely into answers or action.
Together they discuss:
why human beings struggle with uncertainty
common reactions to the unknown, including control, over-analysis, passivity, and catastrophic thinking
the importance of curiosity and “beginner’s mind”
leadership and psychological safety
shadow work and the hidden parts of ourselves
how overplayed strengths can become liabilities under stress
the possibility of growth, creativity, and transformation within periods of darkness and transition
A thoughtful conversation bridging psychology, leadership, self-awareness, and the challenge of staying open at the edge of the unknown.