You Don’t Have to Abandon Yourself to Belong
A podcast about trauma, attachment, shame and self-abandonment. Why do so many capable, high-functioning people keep shrinking, people-pleasing and over-accommodating to stay connected? And how do we find our way back to ourselves?
Hosted by Alexandra Stevens, UKCP psychotherapist and EMDR therapist, in conversation with leading voices in trauma, attachment, neuroscience, relationships and belonging. New episodes every few weeks on YouTube and Spotify.
You Don’t Have to Forgive to Heal
What if the strength everyone admires in you was never really a choice? Robert explains why feelings we set aside return at life’s turning points, how gaslighting teaches us to doubt ourselves, why grief rather than forgiveness is what healing requires, and his research showing attachment styles can change.
Every conversation
Newest first. Click a thumbnail to watch here.
Episode 12
Episode 11Why Do We Feel We Have to Earn Our Worth?
Effort-based worth, shame and culture. From the supermarket queue to 3am with triplets, Yasu shows how culture teaches us what makes us deserving, and how self-compassion lets stress float by.
Episode 10When Staying Small Isn’t Humility
Becoming the “good girl”, hiding from visibility and contorting ourselves to fit what others value. Jesse shares how inner guidance helped her risk being seen.
Episode 9When Being Strong Becomes Armour
Self-trust, resilience and shame. Why the ways we adapted to survive and belong can follow us into places where we no longer need them.
Episode 8
Episode 7
Episode 6
Episode 5
Episode 4
Episode 3
Episode 2
Episode 1
Leading From the Dark
Uncertainty, curiosity and shadow work. The hidden opportunities that open up when we stop trying to control the unknown.
What did you give up in order to belong?
Every guest on the podcast talks about a bargain we make to stay connected. Find out which one you made, and what it might be costing you.
Ready to stop abandoning yourself?
If these conversations hit home, you don’t have to work it out alone. I offer weekly online therapy, EMDR intensives and the Therapy Immersion.